Prediction Lowdown...

So how did it go?

Well, I didn't predict I wouldn't make another post all year, but other than that...

Another ash cloud grounding flights. Tick. Yup, it was only for a day or two, but it happened.

At least one country trying to get out the Euro...right now it looks like all the countries will be getting out the Euro, as Europe falls apart. I won't claim a tick, but I do claim I spotted serious problems

Queen Cat pregnant...there were rumours during her Aussie tour, but no tick because it hasn't been announced (yet).

Injunction against photos...ah, I didn't allow for super-injunctions where we're not even allowed to be told there's an injunction. No tick

Rock Legend...Bye bye Amy Winehouse, hello tick.

Nick Clegg stepping down...no tick, but you'll notice how he might as well not be there anymore.

Cameron shot? Nah. Bollocks. Still the year's not over yet. No tick.

Fuel shortages causing riots? Nobody knows what caused the riots, but I'm claiming the fact I knew there'd be serious riots as a tick because those riots were worse than we've ever seen before.

Flooding...yup we got it, and so did loadsaplaces. Tick.

Reality show tragedy...now there's an interesting one. I claim a tick after Freddy Starr nearly died after a food challenge on Get Me Out of Here. We're going to see that makes a difference to who they have on their shows, or even their validity as entertainment.

5 out of 11 with a provisional extra two ticks for the two about Queen Cat.

Predictions for 2011

If psychics can do it, so can I. How hard can it be?

1...Get ready for another ash cloud grounding European flights.

2...Get ready for at least one country trying to get out of having the Euro as a currency

3...Kate Middleton (I hope she takes on the title Queen Cat) will announce she's preggers.

4...Before or after the pregnant announcement, there'll be a court injunction to stop the press printing nude/topless photos of her (from her Uni days, and from sunbathing on holiday)

5...Another rock legend will die, and album sales will rocket

6...Nick Clegg will do another U Turn and say he's not up to running the country, and step down

7...David Cameron will join the Spencer Perceval club. So far, Perceval is the only British PM to have been assassinated-- Cammo is going to be the second.

8...Fuel shortages will wreck the summer, due to oil blockades, and riots over fuel pump-prices

9...and unseasonal weather will lead to flooding, once again.

10...There'll be a serious incident at a UK airport

11...and a tragedy on a 'reality show' which will lead to its end.

11 for '11. Sounds like an Aussie test match score

Now I'll sit back to watch how many are hits.

"The chances of northern Europe facing a new ice age, or of catastrophic sea-level rises of almost four metres that swamp the planet over thenext century, have been ruled out by leading scientists." (http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2010/dec/06/climate-change-tropical-forest-greater)

Considering the Met Office has given up trying to predict weather over a week away, I'm shocked anyone would try to predict what the world climate conditions will be 50-100 years in the future.

We are, however, a threat to the Rain Forest. No change there, then.It always amuses me that people go on about the Arctic Ice melting as proof of the dreaded 'Global Warming'.

Yeah, it does that. And yeah, it looks like it's doing it faster and further every year. In the past few of years, a couple cruise ships have been able to sail through where there used to be ice. Last year, a sea-going yacht managed to find a way through using up-top-date satellite images to avoid the icepack.

But bear in mind, that 3000 years ago, the Vikings regularly sailed longships through the Arctic. And bear in mind that 500 years ago, when the route became known as the Northwest Passage, trading ships were using it all the time to get round trading restrictions laid down by the Pope. Yet 100 years ago people couldn't get through, and were dying in their attempts. Only hardened explorers like Amundsen managed to take expeditions through the pack ice, and it could take them a year or more to cross the Arctic Circle.

Guys, we're still recovering from the Little Ice Age (1500's-1800's). A good 300 years of advancing glaciers and expanding icepack.

'Climate Change' = 'returning to normal conditions'

I often wonder if writers predict the future or if the process of writing it actually makes it happen.

A guy I know has just injured his wrist punching boards at Taekwondo classes. If he'd waited until he'd read my collection of short stories (due out next year) he might have avoided some pain.

On the other hand, maybe because I wrote it, it was going to happen, no matter what.


Here's the relevant section from the story Marital Bliss. I've run on a few paragraphs more as an extra warning to anyone who wants to heed it.

Kaz, they teach her in Fight Class: ‘when you punch someone—if you have to punch them—lead with the first two knuckles.’ If you hit with the ring finger and little finger knuckles first, they’ll dislocate, they’ll break.

And they teach her: ‘fist and wrist’.

You have to keep them straight. In line.

Boxers strap their wrists with bandages so they can’t bend them. If the wrist bends, all that power, all that momentum, it snaps the bones.

And they teach her: ‘hit the stomach, hit the ribs.

Never punch the mouth’.

Never.

Punch them in the mouth and you can knock teeth out, you can bust lips, you can end a fight there and then—but the mouth is a sewer of bacteria.

Break the skin on your hand, break the knuckle capsule with a tooth, and that bacteria, it’ll make your hand swell up, then your arm. You’ll blister, your fingers blacken. You’ll run a fever, you’ll be throwing up, and without medical help, you’ll be dead within a week.

At the hospital, at the mortuary, they’ll call it Fight Bite.

The guy you smacked in the mouth, he’ll still have thick lip, and he’ll look like a dork when he smiles, but he won’t give a fuck when he’s grinning all the way through your funeral.

Not that you’ll see him, because the coffin will be closed. Your face will be black, with infectious pus oozing from your nose and mouth, so don’t expect your loved ones to kiss you goodbye.

--from Marital Bliss by Jim Corwell